A mess, but still in place

It has been a very long time since I updated my blog.I have been really busy with a lot of things and I could not find the time to sit down and blog. But now since the holidays have started for me, I feel obliged to update my blog. It hasn't been easy on me this year, a lot of goodbye's and a lot of feeling blue, a lot of reminiscing and definitely a lot of missing someone. A lot of building new friendships and some old friends just drifted apart. We're not as close now, but who says that all friendship remains? I guess I accept things more now and I want to acknowledge that. Looking back to the same date last year and today, it was totally different in terms of thinking and feeling and people I talk to. Regardless, I should feel blessed that it didn't happen any other way but I can't help but to question why it happened when it is the very fundamental reason that helps build me and mold me into who I am today. It could have happened in another way, it could have.

    And I don't know whether being vulnerable is a blessing or a curse. Or maybe I self-analyse a lot, ignoring the integral parts and go right down to the bruises, marks, the dirt and tear myself open until I am left with nothing but bones. And when it's not enough, I re-analyse myself until I am sadly satisfied. And every time a mistake happens, I tell myself that it is not their fault, it is not their fault. And sometimes, when they forget important dates, or important things, I tell myself it is okay, they are just more busy than I am. So I choose not to be sad, or depressed, although what you read earlier might sound otherwise. I have become very ignorant in things like these now, I have been pouring my mind with history facts and music lyrics.
"Adam Smith have come up with the idea of free trade in his book 'The Wealth Of Nations'."
"Cold war in 1945 between America and Russia are one of the side effects of World War II"
"During the ruling of King Charles II, the parliament have approved Habeas Corpus Act in the year 1679"
"If the water dries up, and the moon stops shining, stars fall, and the world goes blind boy, you know, I'd be saving my love for you"

     Because I very much disapprove in romanticizing depression and sad people. It seems like loving the idea of depression has more love than the idea of love itself. Other teens feel like loving the way of how he/she is sad or depress is so much more romantic. And it is like to die for.

     Things don't often turn out the way we wanted it to be. And I have really begin to experience that over a few months. In fact, nothing seem to turn out the way I wanted it to be prior. But it's not like I hold a grudge over it, I try not to feel. And this is what I fear the most.

Back from KL,fancy kitties?

     I'm really sorry for the lack of updates. As you all know I took a part time job down in KL and I sure had quite the working experience given. A lot of sacrifices made and I'm so glad to be back here in KK. It had really taught me a lot and had shown me many individuals that are so different -in every possible aspects you can imagine. For two and a half months staying there, it was a lot for me to take in,to process this thing as a whole. I don't know how I did it,but praise the Lord I manage to be able to go through it. My daily routine is a little different than others. Due to the traffic jam that is inevitable in KL,my aunt and I wake up early(I'm not even joking when I say early) in the morning to beat the jam. I also had no idea how ever did I manage to stand up for as long as 8 hours for 6 days a week. The people at work weren't given a chair or a stool to sit on therefore we are told to stand up at all times. I guess you know what I was working as-a cashier. I thought it was a cool job back when I was like 6. And when I got the chance to become one,well, let's just say it's not as fun as we all think it is,not in the place I worked at,at least.

      But during my stay there,my aunt usually take me on a Sunday out and one of those Sundays happen to be my cousin's warm opening for his cafe. It had a different take on cafes,there were kittens in a special room that you can play with. You can also drink and eat inside the room. Of course,the food and drinks weren't made near the kittens. You can choose not to eat and drink inside that room too.

Can you see the parting of the room at the back? That is where you can play with the kitties. If you don't want to,you can just chill outside the room.

                                      

The cakes are really tasteful and moist,each with its own signature taste.

Koko Warren

To anyone who is a cat-lover,this place is for you. It's made for you. I had a great time playing the kittens they don't bite or scratch at all,that is unless you are really rough with them. 

1-1, Jalan SS15/8A,47500 Petaling Jaya

Also,I just made an instagram account.Holla at me

instagram.com/natashanfm

New Year, 2014

Decisions are always hard to make especially someone like me..ha ha. I take a long time deciding and still having doubts of my final decision. I don't know what to expect this year but what I do know is that I have to learn to be independent. Not that I have not,it's just that the fact that I have just finish my high school,who knows what might come next.
   2013 was definitely an amazing year for me. It was,I don't know,balanced. Equal. I felt everything in between and truthfully, I'm glad that errors occur,that I was dubious,that there are arguments which are inevitable. It helped me learn and grow,I guess.
   Two years ago(wow I can't believe it),I was spending my new year's eve at home while my mom went with her friends,and so did my dad with his. So it was just me and my brother. I didn't really feel sad for myself though, because I knew that I will be taking my SPM in 2013 so I was already freaked out inside. But last year(it was just yesterday lol),I get to spend new year's eve with my friends. Too bad I have no pictures with me but there are a few on my friend's phone. And then I went over to my family's close friend's house to countdown the new year. There, I ate again. I was stuffed! I imperceptibly went over to the table to get some food,how classy.
   Anyway, decisions are really hard for me to make,and they probably always will be. It's not always wrong to turn to a close friend when you're in need and that's exactly what I did. We talked about it and continue to deliberate on my so called 'issue'. Of course before talking to anyone, I prayed to God first. I'm constantly searching for reasons of why I should and should not make that decision. My mind tends to run wild with ideas of what could possibly happen and what I might encounter.
   So I guess I should be telling you guys this,my aunt manage a shop in KL and she asked my dad whether I want a job there or not. I kept thinking about it,of what might happen if I chose to take it,and if I chose to not. Well guys,before you jump into any conclusions, let me tell you that it is a temporary job. Until my results are out. So that means three months in KL. Also, it is not exactly an ideal type of job. I mean it's just a shop where I'm going to work. And I know you don't hear this kind of thing very often but I guess there's no harm in trying new things. It's exciting yet horrifying at same time. I'll probably won't be blogging so much now but I will try to update as much as I can.

the parents

 

as annoying as he is, I still love him. and yes,if you have not know yet,my brother has curly hair. so much for trying to rock it.
also,my baby hair have to stop showing. 

And in hopes that we will grow,learn and love fully and wholeheartedly.For it is then that we will be able to have the joy of life. I hope all of you will have a splendid new year. Till next time! x